The tax of words unspoken

I'm empty and open,
I'm closed and broken,
I don't want you to see my cracks,
Yet I want to scream when you turn your back,
I want to be hidden,
Yet I don't wish to be forgotten,
I hate it when you don't listen for what I have left unspoken,
Yet I know without words you'll never know what's broken,
If I can't get it out I'll die,
Yet I can't even bring myself to cry,
These words are my diary,
And I know they will be the end of my weak mortality,
Yet I'm not sure I want them to be apart of my history,
Even though like a river, they flow from me,
I can't say this to your face,
So I write it here in this place,
Hoping that one day you'll see it,
At the same time wishing to keep them a secret,
I can't show you my heart,
Yet I can let you see my art,
And is that not the same?
For that is the same place where from which they all came,
Shooting from my soul,
And every time they go unspoken they take their toll,
I want to scream but can't find my voice,
I want to tell you but can't make the choice,
I know without words you won't understand,
Oh how I hate the ignorance of man,
I'm so frustrated,
I feel like I'm going to explode with the way they've accumulated,
Building up like a bomb within,
Screaming out into the world's large din,
If you listen close you can hear my eyes,
They'll tell you of my mouth's smooth lies,
My tongue won't tell you of my pain,
But it can't handle silence's strain,
Stop asking questions that I have to lie to,
And finally let my eyes show you the glowing truth,
You caught on to a few facts,
But that gift came with a tax,
I don't want to trust you,
I don't want to show you all that the world never knew,
It is like a hidden treasure in the bay,
Cursed to keep it in the place it lay,
Now you're hunting to find it,
And I'm screaming for you to quit,
Yet a voice from within tells me to let you know,
To let my face play out the show,
And finally move my still tongue,
Tell you the things I feel that should cause me to be hung,
I want you to know of my guilt,
But I might as well hand you a sword by the hilt,
For surly it would slay me,
To give you the chance to betray me,
So for now I'll stay silent,
And hope this agony within does not become more violent,
For surly even if I did speak, you could not understand,
For you are nothing but a mere man,
Unable to comprehend the complexity that is the woman,
But maybe, just maybe, with my help you can