Amazing you

My tears flow and fall,
The world comes to a crawl,
All around I see the pain inside of me,
See how great others can be,
If it wasn't for you,
I have no idea what I would do,
You showed me the greatness inside of me,
The greatness I can come to be,
And now I am sitting here crying yet again,
But not like I did then,
Today I cry because I have found this peace,
Gone and defeated life's beast,
Now I can hold my head up proud,
Feeling tall as a cloud,
Just a matter of time before they try to bring me down,
I feel like I could leap tall buildings in a single bound,
Let them come to make me fall,
I will teach them all,
What it means to have love,
Not to spill blood,
So as I sit and write this I am thinking of you,
And all the extraordinary things you do,
How you always seem to just be there,
Even when I don't know that I need you here,
How your hugs can change the world,
And your eyes can see my inner little girl,
You have taught me how to fight,
You have taught me how to make things right,
It was you to hold me up when I fell,
It was you who was still there after the final bell,
If it wasn't for you,
I have no idea what I would do,
So, to you I say thank you,
Thank you for just being amazing you

Yesterday's Tomorrow

Today I admit to haven fallen in love with him,
He and I have had the most fun there has ever been,
Tomorrow I will admit to having a broken heart,
For falling in love means landing hard,
Yesterday I would've admitted to being his friend,
Something I thought would never have come to an end,
Right now I am in a hard position,
Trying so hard to make a decision,
As to step into the tunnel of time,
And choose whether or not as to make you mine,
I'm hurting now,
But soon it will be better somehow,
Trying not to let it show yesterday,
Trying hard just to make it seem all play,
I hate showing the world how I feel,
So I pretend to be hard as steel,
But being with you makes me glow,
And for some reason I want you to know,
I want to tell you everything that's going on within,
But somehow I'm sure you'd make it your mission,
To fix all the open wounds and diminish all the scars,
So I keep you out with sharp, metal bars,
Yet you seem to pry through into my heart,
Straight through to the deepest, warmest part,
Making me laugh, making me cry,
So Today I will love you like everything's fine,
I will laugh at your dumb jokes,
And giggle at your sharp pokes,
I will do my best not to hurt you,
And that's the hardest thing to do,
To keep you from feeling my pain,
Working hard for the strength I gain,
Trying to toughen so I can hide,
Yet you stick ruthlessly by my side,
So today I will love you with all I have,
And tomorrow I mourn you til I go mad,
Love you in the now,
And yet know I will have to let you go somehow,
Torture is what it is,
For every mark I hit, ten more I miss,
Goodbye tonight,
Yesterday I'll make everything go right

The current of time.

Waiting for the axe to fall,
Afraid to lose it all,
Knowing each and every breath,
Brings me closer to my death,
Glimpsing what could be,
And knowing it is only something to see,
Following his foot prints through the wood,
Finding him where he stood,
Looking at my empty hand,
Left waiting where I stand,
Not knowing if I shall see,
The man he will grow to be,
For surly he might die,
Hating how I say goodbye,
Leaving left a hole,
Love is something he stole,
Took it with him in his pocket,
As I wear it in a locket,
So that we may always know,
How change will surly go,
Mixing and twisting up our lives,
Always forcing our bitter sweet goodbyes,
Living for our yesterday's tomorrow,
Too strong to show our sorrow,
Taking the path less traveled by,
Flying on wings so high,
Nothing can stop me once I go,
Determination that will always show,
Today is a lullaby,
Tomorrow is a lie,
Unsure of how it shall conclude,
So easy to delude,
Living for yesterday,
Is a never ending wait,
Living for tomorrow,
Takes time unowned to borrow,
Living to today,
Is always the best way,
Yesterday is stone,
Hard and set strong enough to break bone,
Tomorrow is a current,
Flowing hard and easily bent,
So now I know where it is I stand,
And where it is I want to land,
With nothing to stop me,
I will write tomorrow's history

A prayer to Thee above

How hard is it to apologize?
Accept all your wrongs and lies,
We don't always have to bring one another down,
Shouldn't have to worry who is around,
Show the world you are not mean,
And just how much of your warm heart there is to be seen,
No more worries of the past,
Please Lord let this last,
Let the pain leave,
And show the world the truth of what I believe,
May she know I love her,
And that she truly is my sister,
Lord, please bring the sun to shine down on this Earth,
And let people know the truth of what they really are worth,
Let us forget all that we have done wrong,
And show us the story in the bird's sweet song,
Lord, please give me strength,
And show me how to ease their pain,
Make me Thine sweet hand,
And allow me to bring Thine tender love to all of man,
Lord I ask Thee,
To please forgive me,
My dear Lord I feel Thine love for me,
And I ask Thee to make me the best I can be,
Please show her Thine devine light,
And help her to forget Satan's sharp bite,
I thank Thee my sweet Father above,
For Thine eternal lasting love

on the surface

Running so blindly,
Blinded so completely,
Flooded with stupidity,
Never to find serenity,

Missing a link,
Afraid to even blink,
Unable to think,
Blushing bright pink,

Listening to your sweet voice,
Deaf to the world's noise,
Moving with no choice,
Frozen with still poise,

Tired of the world unable to see,
The Earth's true beauty,
Sitting so silently,
Not knowing what is going to be,

Feeling so faithless,
Left suddenly so lifeless,
Hiding on the surface,
Clenching my bleeding fist,

Feeling so incomplete,
Lost in a life's beat,
Taking all the heat,
Reaching no small feat,

Running from myself,
Like a prisoner breaking from his cell,
Not knowing how I fell,
Finally breaking from my shell,

Stepping into the light of day,
Not knowing what to say,
Nor that the world would ask me to pay,
Such a high price for the sun to stay,

Feeling him whispering,
Leaving me wondering,
Which of the pieces is missing,
Not knowing who is listening,

Drowning to the the deaf,
Welcoming a quick death,
Finding the end of it all,
Just waiting for the world to fall

Trying to bring me down

Moving through me like a river,
You flow in my veins like ice,
Making me shiver and cry,
Your harsh words cut me like a blade,
They are meant to bring me down,
But really, all they are is sound,
I am too smart to let them touch me,
I am too pretty to listen to you call me ugly,
I am too strong to let them leave a mark,
I am too accepting of myself to let them drag me into the dark,
You may call me what you wish,
You may attempt to get me to hurt,
You may try to get me to feel like dirt,
But who are you?
You can't see what actually hurts me,
You hate that no one will love you like I love he,
Why do you even try?
Can't you see that I am simply amazing?
That is what makes it so entertaining,
To watch you fumble and fall,
At trying to make me feel so small,
I am okay with who I really am.
I love you no matter what you say,
Because that will last for only today,
You try to bring me down because really you are the one hurting,
I will try my best to help you,
Because no matter what you do,
I still care about you,
I am a bird at wing,
I am a cloud in the sky,
I am not going to stop until the moment I die,
Life is too short to spend it in sorrow,
And no matter what you say, the sun will always rise tomorrow,
A day without a smile,
Is a day without life,
Because a smile is the sun, and without it you are living in the night

Night sky star

Heart thudding,
Mind shuddering,
Thinking of the world's conclusion,
Not living up to their expectation and illusion,
I am not perfect,
Nor do I care what image I reflect,
Who are they to say that I should be the sun's bright day?
When I am so comfortable shrouded in the night,
I am withstanding an unbeatable fight,
Clinging to what is left of me,
Pretending to be what they want to see,
Lost in a sea of injustice,
Unable to finally discover solace or bliss,
Feeling like I have set out on a journey with no start,
Feeling like I am running from the genius of my heart,
Trying to forget the pain of their words,
Trying to ignore all that I have so unwillingly heard,
I always pretend like I don't care what they say,
Pretending like I allow to come what may,
I want to speak out,
With a thundering voice so loud,
Want to tell them of the scars that mar me,
That I will never be who they want me to be,
But I have found telling them is pointless,
For they suffer from deafness,
They can't hear what I have to say,
Because they are too caught up in their own ways,
I hope they get to taste their own medicine,
So they will see that they will never win,
So instead of screaming to the deaf and stupid,
I will continue to control the emotions I have thus far so well hid,
For I am not inferior to them in the slightest,
I am the greatest of my very best,
I am amazing simply because I choose so,
That is something that the unintelligent will never know,
They cannot see,
You are who and what you choose to be,
So one day I will be heroin,
And they will be the suffering victim,
They will see that no matter that they may have said,
I will do my best to keep them from falling dead,
Because they obviously have so much to learn,
And that is knowledge they will have to earn,
Today they are blind to my beauty,
Tomorrow they will pretend like they always knew me,
For I will be a glittering star,
One that can fall so hard,
But is too strong to lose her grip,
On the night sky's glowing tip,
Too strong to let them shake me down,
And they will forever be left to roam the ground

The wild

Looking up at a thousand stars,
Amazed at just how many there are,
They shine so bright,
Like fireflies on this summer night,
Taking my breath away,
Wishing to keep the sun at bay,
I smell the fire's musky smoke,
And the lake where we soak,
Tonight is mine,
But I seem unable to keep track of time,
Lost in this world of green,
Like no other I have ever seen,
Smelling pine in the air,
And seeing the giant grizzly bear,
Running with bare feet,
Catching and killing just so I can eat,
This summer seems like magic,
To lose this would be oh, so tragic,
Running with the wolf pack,
Never turning around or even looking back,
Feeling so one with the wild,
Living with mother nature as her child,
I am the leaf on the wind,
I am the fox getting skinned,
Never too close yet never far,
Like a forgotten scar,
Living and breathing,
Never forgetting all of life's meaning,
Like the fallen baby bird,
Or the fawn unable to find its herd,
Leaving footprints in the mud,
Shedding the rabbits red blood,
Catching the wild fowl,
And listening to the wolf howl,
Always looked down upon by the moon,
Like the river always in tune,
The wind pushing through the trees,
And the birds stealing their seeds,
Never losing my worn path,
Yet always seeming to keep on track,
This is the story of the season,
This is the meaning of life's reason,
To take flight from this binding ground,
And never touching back down,
I have finally found the meaning of being free,
Something you, in your office, will never see,
For its secrets are hidden in the rabbits burrow,
Something you can find if you are through,
The secret is written in the stars,
Something you can feel in your heart,
Just let the wild sing,
And in your ears to ring,
For this is my home of yellow and blue,
Something I am hoping will soon find you

Starting out in life

The sun has come out to say hello,
The hardest part of saying goodbye is letting go,
We will all have our own adventures,
And will see each other next year,
The spooning under the stars,
And the traveling to places so far,
The dancing under the moon,
And sleeping in until noon,
Summer is here,
She is whispering in our ear,
Telling us that no matter what we go through,
She will always come back to you,
We will learn a lot in these many fort nights,
Knowledge that will stay with us through out our lives,
Growing from Kitten and foul,
Into adults that can reach our goal,
We may come back home with more than a tan,
We will be young woman and man,
Suddenly seeing what life has in store for us,
Learning right from wrong, and love from lust,
Suddenly we find ourselves on the edge of the starting line,
Splitting from our peers and leaving some behind,
I am a butterfly coming out of my cocoon,
I am a bear hunting a raccoon,
Like the baby bird in the sky,
Just starting out in life,
Not knowing what is to come next,
But wanting to be the very best,
So for now I want to live life as it is,
And for tomorrow save me your warm kiss,
Your sweet love song,
And my poem, oh so long,
They say these are the best years,
But they are so full of our biggest fears,
So stay strong for your tomorrow,
Wherever it may go

Moving on

I thought it was jut the wind passing through,

But much to my surprise it was you,

Sending chills down my spin,

Letting me know it will be all right,

I cry everyday since you left Earth to escape,

Oh how your absence is filling me with such heartache,

I'm drowning our mamma in my tears,

Although time has passed into years.

I am missing you yet again today,

So very haunted by your smiling face,

You're reaching out and letting go,

 Working so hard to let me know,

You are there for me,

Even though it is just your picture I see,

You'd hold me in your arms,

You are so close, yet so very far,

The days have gotten dark,

And moving on is always hard,

But you  left me with your mark,

To be left forever in my heart,

So until we meet again,

I will be moving on to meet my end,

And at last we will be together,

To spend happily the rest of forever

I wrote this in memory of my sister, Julia Lea Robison, 1991-2008. RIP Jewel, we miss you so much.