Feel this way

 This is my first free verse. I am not going to talk about it, don't ask questions. Tell me what you think.

So much pressure,
Feeling crushed like a can,
I can't take the hit,
Can't even take the wind,
I feel like I'm falling apart,
Losing my momentum,
Not staying on track,
Not keeping my eye on the ball,

You see right through my defenses,
See that I have a heart,
See that I have a soul,
Not sure if this is a good thing,
Not sure I want it all to be seen
I'm running from you with all I've got,
Noticing you doesn't make it easier,
Doesn't make me want to concede

I may be stubborn,
I may be a pain in the neck,
But for some reason you want to stay,
Want to let me feel this way,
I don't understand it,
And I doubt I ever will,
Not that I care,
But you look at me with those beautiful blue eyes,
Making me melt from within

Listening to the sound of your heart beneath my ear,
Feeling like I could stay here,
I don't want to give up,
To let you know you've caught me,
But i fear that i must tell the truth,
Which is something i can't seem to do,
Not even admit it to myself,
I hate wanting to feel your warmth,
And knowing that you've won

I hate losing the battle,
I hate being the one to cave,
I hate feeling all this emotion,
I hate knowing I want to be more than friends,
I hate following all the stupid world's trends,
I hate being the girl they all fear,
I hate knowing that I'll lose that title,
I hate getting knocked off beat,
I hate loving you

Dancing through the air,
Hearing the wind whip through my hair,
Knowing you're two strides behind,
Refusing to lose the race,
Refusing to back down,
Laughing at the feel of your hands,
Laughing at the feel of your breath in my ear,
Missing you when you're not there,
Loving my time alone

I love the sound of your voice,
I love the feel of the sidewalk at my back,
I love giggling as your voice cracks,
I love the vibrating of your chest,
I love the swallowing of my words,
I love the annoying banter,
I love the feeling of hating loving this,
I love it when you miss a step, miss a beat,
I love making your eyes light up with a smile

I am not one to be chased,
I am not one to be worth the worry,
I am not one to be sought after,
I am not one to forget your laughter,
I am not one to be lost in those eyes,
I am not one to let you see what and who I am,
I am not one to be forgotten,
I am not one to be stopped,
I am not one to be given up on so easily

You make me want to run,
You make me want to sing,
You make me want to show the world all of me,
You make me want to hide from their prying eyes,
You make me want to take on the world,
You make me want to march to your drum,
You make me feel somehow intelligently dumb,
You make me want to scream with anger,
You make me want to laugh with joy